Holiday Land

You all went on Holiday to the same place as me, right? Holidayland; where you spend time with people you want to spend time with, doing the things you want to do, and eating the food you want to eat.

You all went on Holiday to the same place as me, right? Holidayland; where you spend time with people you want to spend time with, doing the things you want to do, and eating the food you want to eat. After all, hey don't sell salad wraps or Ryvita in Holidayland. Thy only sell good things like wine, ice-cream and sun-tan lotion. And the only thing to worry about in Holidayland is how you'll get to fit in five barbecued meals in one day. The thing is, they never let you stay in Holidayland either. The immigration and border control people there have no mercy. Two weeks is pretty much the most you'll ever get, and then it's back home to where we all live: here. Rubbish old here.

It's hard to deal with the shift in mindset back to drudgery. Getting off the plane into the wet, dark cold. Stepping through the front door to be greeted by that funny vegetable smell that means you left something in the fridge that you shouldn't have. Coping with the sheer misery of it all has sent more than a few people over the edge into madness. You see those poor, crazy lunatics back at work, trying to hold back the sobs while showing colleagues holiday photos with their eyes filled with tears. Important notice: No-one ever really wants to see your holiday photos, no matter what they say. We've all been to Holidayland, we know what it looks like.

For the rest of us who survive with our sanity intact, there's nothing to do except watch our tans fade as we deal with the horrible, heart-breaking realities of life. Recycling bins. Credit crunches. The X Factor.

So what's the remedy to those desperate back-from-holiday-blues? We try all sorts of woeful, ineffective techniques. We fake tan. We buy that fancy foreign beer with the name we couldn't pronounce that we drank buy the pool in Holidayland. Most worryingly of all, some deluded weirdos even try plunging themselves into their work. But none of that will do it.

So what's the only way to survive the end of your holiday. It's simple. Hide yourself away from prying eyes, turn on that computer, get online and start looking at some exciting photographic pictures. What? No! Stop! Not those pictures! What kind of man do you think I am? I mean pictures of other holiday destinations. That's right, the only way through the post-holiday-blues is to start planning the next one. 'Cos maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but someday, you're going back to Holidayland.

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