Sucker For You Matt Terry Download 'Sucker For You' on iTunes
This one is dedicated to all of you dads out there.
Exploding Unicorn - or James Breakwell - has four young daughters and, much to his wife's annoyance, is an incessant over-sharer.
He tweets the conversations he has with each of his daughters where they discuss key moments in life and the results are hilarious.
We guarantee that you won't be able to read this without being able to relate to at least one!
[3-year-old rides her bike]— Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) April 17, 2016
Me: I taught her everything she needs to know
Me: I taught her half of what she needs to know.
Toddler: *spills an entire bowl of popcorn and then eats it off the floor*— Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) April 17, 2016
5-year-old: Stop it!
Me: Let her go. I don't want to vacuum.
Me: You can't like Kylo Ren. He killed his dad.— Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) April 11, 2016
5-year-old: Maybe he deserved it.
I'm never sleeping again.
Me: You put your coat on upside down.— Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) March 26, 2016
3-year-old: No, I didn't.
Me: Your hood is on the bottom.
3: My butt gets cold.
Me: Share with your sister.— Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) March 26, 2016
5-year-old: Sharing isn't cool.
Me: Sharing is very cool. I share.
5-year-old: I wish I was a princess.— Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) March 19, 2016
Me: You're my princess, and this is our realm.
5: *looks around our house* This kingdom sucks.
Me: Want to hear what I did today?— Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) March 1, 2016
5-year-old: Did you kill dragons?
Me: What color do you want your room?— Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) February 29, 2016
5-year-old daughter: Gold with sparkles.
Me: How about yellow?
5: Mom's right. You never listen.
I’ve been trying to potty train my toddler.— Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) January 25, 2016
She just made eye contact with me while she pooped in her diaper.
She’s the alpha now.
5-year-old: *points to the winky face emoji on my phone* How come you never use that one?— Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) January 17, 2016
Me: That’s how babies are made.
5-year-old: Are you going to drink beer tonight?— Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) December 31, 2015
Me: Probably. Why?
5-year-old: I like to watch Mom yell at you.
Wife: Not everything we say in this house belongs on Twitter.— Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) April 4, 2016
Me: I understand.
Wife: Are you tweeting this right now?
There's no doubt about it, dads are cool. Sometimes.