Shape of You Ed Sheeran
A woman has finally got revenge on her sex-starved husband who decided to keep a detailed spreadsheet which tracked her ridiculous (and hilarious) sex refusals. Now the turntables have turned as she claims his farting and snoring were the real reasons behind their lack of bedroom action.
Whether it's fatigue or that ever-faithful headache excuse, we've all fabricated reasons to avoid being intimate with our partners. However one woman, who was left fuming after her husband revealed in a document that he had managed to woo her just three times in two months, is able to revenge after a hilarious parody written from the wife's perspective disputes his list of complaints about their sex life.
Turning the tables on her husband, the hilarious parody written by TheFunnySister.com reveals his farting and lack of personal hygiene were some of the real reasons for the couple's dry spell in the bedroom whilst his snoring is also described as a total moodkiller!
The post reads: "Got into bed after a good workout and was totally in the mood. But he farted and Dutch-ovened me. I told him it was gross."
According to the original document, which surfaced on Reddit under the username throwwwwaway29, the sex-starved husband claims his wife had used a range of excuses to avoid getting frisky such as "I'm not feeling good I ate too much," and "I'm watching the show" even though they were old re-runs of 'Friends'.
The wife's response: TheFunnySister.com
Now the record has been set straight as the new document makes clear that she would have been up for some late night action after watching the popular US sitcom but "he was snoring before it was over."
The original document, which surfaced on Reddit earlier this week has gone viral after a wife claimed her husband was holding her accountable for their dismal sex life, and he decided to take action by emailing her a spreadsheet at an airport ahead of a business trip.
She explained: "Husband sends a message to my work email...he's never done this, we always communicate in person or by text. I open it up and it's a sarcastic diatribe basically saying he won't miss me for the 10 days I'm gone."