Perfect Ed Sheeran
Being a nation of snobs is what makes Britain great! But just how snotty are you? Take our test and find out...
From the way our parents store their finest china for the Queen's unexpected (aka never coming) visit, to the way we brew our beloved British tea, Britain has always held a proud pinky-finger up to being a nation of snobs.
But long gone are the days where having a prettier front lawn than Margret next door upgrades you straight to upper-class, dahling!
According to Novelist Nancy Mitford, it's our everyday speech that separates the U (Upper class) from the Non-U (Non-Upper class).
Almost 60 years ago Mitford wrote her celebrated guide on linguistics, Noblesse Oblige, making a clear distinction between the 'garidge' speakers putting you in the 'Sub-U' category and the 'garaage' talkers identified as the U section of society.
Despite the guide being decades old, many of those distinctions still hold firm today. So are you a 'pudding' person or are you a 'sweet'? Here's a list to help you find out whether you speak U or non-U.
Upper class/ non upper class
Writing paper/Note paper
Still not convinced? Take 'The Milk Jug' test and find out if your too posh-to-pour or if you're a straight out the cartoon type person.
1. A friend offers you a cup of tea, pours the milk from a carton and leaves it on the table while you drink, rather than putting it into a jug. Are you:
a) Outraged - what kind of person is she?!
c) You do this at home all the time
2. Your son arrives at a family wedding in a three-piece suit but no tie. Do you:
a) Pop out to the nearest clothes shop and buy him one
b) Suggest he at least do up his top bottom
c) Not notice
3. Your brother, who you haven't seen sinced dinosaurs started roaming the earth, telephones to tell you that he is marrying a five-time divorcee from Essex named Trixy-Beyonce chardonnay Higginbotham. Do you say:
a) ‘Is she one of the Harlow Higginbothams?’
b) ‘That can’t be her real name, surely?’
c) ‘Congratulations. It’s about time someone made an honest man of you’
4. Your son’s new girlfriend turns out to be a check-out operator named Porshe who drives a battered Vauxhall Corsa. Do you:
a) Request that she doesn’t park her car outside your house
b) Ask ‘Did her parents conceive her in the South of France, I wonder?’
c) Welcome her into your home like any other guest?
5. A colleague uses the phrase: ‘If I was you.’ Do you:
a) Point out that the correct usage is ‘were’
b) Say ‘subjunctives are very difficult, aren’t they?’
c) Not know that a grammatical mistake has been made
6. It is suggested the family watch the special episode of Mrs Brown’s Boys on Christmas night. Do you say:
a) ‘I’m afraid we don’t watch that kind of rubbish’
b) ‘Is that some kind of Irish thing? I’m not sure it’s suitable for the children’
c) ‘Anything that makes grandma laugh is fine by me’
7. What word do you use to describe a bottle of Chanel No. 5?
8. When raising a glass to friends, do you say:
a) Good health!
c) Bottoms up! (waste not, want not)
9. You haven’t understood what someone has just said. How are you most likely to ask them to repeat themselves:
c) Come again?
Mostly a: There's no question about it, you're an undoubtable snob through and through.
Mostly b: You’re trying your hardest to leave your snobbish tendencies behind you.
Mostly c: Bottoms Up! If you have answered honestly, you have no snobbish habits at all.