Shape Of You Ed Sheeran
Russell Brand has been awarded the Plain English Campaign's 'Foot in Mouth' gong for 2014. Why? For speaking gobbledygook, according to the independent group who said he was the "overwhelming choice" to win. Here are some of his most baffling quotes that might explain why he bagged the title...
Russell Brand has been named as the Plain English Campaign's 'Foot in Mouth' winner for 2014 thanks to his use of the English language.
The independent group, who oppose gobbledygook, jargon and legalese words in public speaking, revealed the British comedian was the "overwhelming choice" to win this year's notorious award.
Brand is known for his tongue-twisting, complex phrasing and sometimes baffling quotes and quips, so it was no surprise the campaign honed in on his lexicon, saying the political activist was ''out on his own'' among contenders for the title.
''While we admire Russell's determination to open up a debate about democracy and the dire state of the world, we struggle to make sense of most of his comments.''
To be honest, sometimes, so do we! So here are some of his most confusing ramblings to date...
1. ''The internal mayhem I'm feeling is spilling out everywhere. I loved it, and felt very connected to activism - particularly activism that feels loaded with potential. Not the oppositional activism that seems like there's a stasis around it - earnestly sincere, but a monolith equal to the establishment.''
2. "I deplore corporate colonialism but not viscerally."
3. ''This attitude of churlish indifference seems like nerdish deference contrasted with the belligerent antipathy of the indigenous farm folk, who regard the hippie-dippie interlopers, the denizens of the shimmering tit temples, as one fey step away from transvestites.''
4. "A Halloween-haired, Sachsgate-enacting, estuary-whining, glitter-lacquered, priapic berk… How dare I, from my velvet chaise longue, in my Hollywood home like Kubla Khan, drag my limbs from my harem to moan about the system? A system that has posited me on a lilo made of thighs in an ocean filled with honey and foie gras’d my Essex arse with undue praise and money."
5. "I find it hard to understand. It obfuscates truth and I think an economic ideology is oppositional to the spiritual ideologies that are what we need to adopt if we’re to save our planet and humankind. Capitalism, the economic arm of the individualism and materialism ideologies that keep us framed in a narrow bandwidth of consciousness, prevents us from seeing that we’re all connected.”
6. "The lumbering monotheistic faiths have given us millennia of grief for a handful of prayers and some sparkly rituals."
7. "The time is now, this movement is already occurring, it’s happening everywhere; we’re in a time where communication is instantaneous and there are communities all over the world. The Occupy movement made a difference in – even if only in that it introduced to the popular public lexicon the idea of the 1% versus the 99%. People for the first time in a generation are aware of massive corporate and economic exploitation."
8. "To me a potent and triumphant leftist movement, aside from the glorious Occupy rumble, is a faint, idealistic whisper from sepia rebels."
Okay then, Russ...