Saturday 18th May
The Great Gatsby Premiered at the Cannes film festival this week and got me thinking about rules for the cinema, like a six foot man is not allowed to sit in front of someone who’s only five foot four (That’s me by the way). Popcorn should only be eaten during noisy bits of the film and no slurpy kissing, it turns the rest of us off.
We all have our habits, I even go through food phases where I eat the same thing for a while, the latest being chicken stir fry for lunch everyday for a fortnight. But that’s nothing after we heard from Claire who has eaten the same lunch, Ryvita, cream cheese and a Twix for ten years! OMG must be so boring! Graham though takes it to a whole new level, he has ordered the same curry from the same curry house every Friday for so long that he doesn’t even have to ring up and order it. He only gets in touch with the Indian restaurant twice a year to say that he won’t need the Friday night dinner because he’ll be away on holiday! Genius!
Just put your hand in your pocket and see what you find. Chances are there’s some cash, some keys and maybe an old ticket stub? Certainly nothing like Heart listener Tyler carries, he has a little pouch with paracetamol, cotton buds and a mini toothbrush! He’s come fully prepared. That’s more than I carry in my massive hippo bag, but not quite as strange as our producer James who carries nail clippers and will use them at any stage of the day.
Saturday 11th May
To become a doctor or an accountant, you need to go through lots of training and years of exams and study time. So why there are not any lessons in being a parent, there’s not even a manual and yet it’s the most complex challenge I’ve ever taken on. There should be a school that you can go to at least for a couple of days before your little bundle of joy arrives. Lessons would include PE, lifting moving weights to build up your arm muscles, metalwork, how to build or put anything together that’s put in front of you, like the pram parasol I struggled with this week that didn’t keep my 3 month old daughter in the shade for more than 20 seconds. And finally I could really do with an emotional lesson in spotting the different cries; does Lois want a bottle, a nappy change or just a cuddle?
I found out on the show this week that Michael's mum used to make him and his sisters be quiet as kids otherwise "they'd wake the baby next door". There was no baby. What lies did your parents tell you? Amy's mum told her the ice cream van playing the music meant it had run out of ice cream… Lou's mum told her Penguin bars were made of real penguins, just so she could eat them all for herself. Nothing wrong with that at all! And with your help we compiled Heart Breakfast's Official Rules of Food this week… the big ones to remember are; vinegar goes on chips before the salt, never bite a Pringle in half, eat around the edges of a Jaffa Cake first and at number one… ALWAYS eat a Kit Kat finger-by-finger, never bite across all four.
Saturday 4th May
I always knew that having a baby would be hard work, but I didn’t realise how much time it would take up. It used to take me half an hour to get ready and get out the door. I now have to allow around two hours for this seemingly easy task. It has made me leave things like the cleaning and the washing up to build up. It has also made me incredibly lazy, proved by the fact that last week I bought a new kettle rather than de-scale the old one. But Heart listeners have made me feel better by being lazy too. Like Ally who threw out her plates after Christmas dinner because she couldn’t be bothered to wash them and Simon who rang the pub he was in to order a round of drinks because he couldn’t be bothered to go to the bar. And Jolene who makes her friend drive close to the bin after food to put her rubbish in, just so she doesn’t have to move.
I don’t know how postcodes get dished out, I also don’t know how Sat Nav’s work, but what I can tell you is that my postcode and sat nav don’t work together. I live in West End but after giving the details to my mate Julie, her Sat Nav took her to Totton, nothing wrong with Totton, it’s just not where I live! There are always stories of sat nav taking you in the wrong direction, Heart listener Tammy’s took her to the cemetery instead of her Dad’s house and John’s wanted him to go through or over a river. Sat Nav, don’t trust it, it’s out to get us all.
Saturday 27th April
Have you ever passed something off as your own? Everybody’s done it right? Whether it be a little bit of homework, house decorating or doing your make-up really well. Hands up I’ve done it. This week in fact. I still meet up with my antenatal class girls, who’ve taken to meeting at each others houses for lunch each week. Being the domestic goddesses they are, most arrive with some sort of baked goods. I’ve got to say, I do love Heidi’s chocolate brownies and Ali’s lemon drizzle cake, but I can’t compete. Not wanting to arrive empty handed I took along a bag of cookies that my cousin had made and totally passed them off as my own. I think I got away with it until someone asked for the recipe.
I’ve learnt lots about my new co-host, Michael Underwood, on Heart Breakfast this week. I learned that he proposed to his now wife Angellica in New York, in a church at Christmas Midnight mass, after trying to find the ‘right’ time for twenty four hours. I also learned that he has managed to set fire to heatproof oven gloves, and will get up in the middle of the night to run around and panic about a power cut that he wouldn’t have known about if he’d stayed asleep. Apparently he wanted to test the new torch he’d bought. I’m worried.
Saturday 20th April
I’m so excited to be starting the new Heart breakfast show with my new mate, Michael Underwood. No he’s not a rugby player or a cricketer and yes he is the guy that broke his leg on Dancing on Ice. He’s such a lovely guy, very funny. Can’t wait to hear all about his wife Angellica Bell and their surprise wedding in New York. Turns out Michael reckons he knows lots of amazing facts, we’ll see? We also share a birthday, does that mean we are effectively going to be the same person, or will we differ, will anyone care? It’s gonna be one hell of a party, I know that much.
Life has changed beyond all recognition since I last posted a column in here. Ten weeks ago I was trying to write my column in between contractions at the Princess Anne hospital, whilst giving birth to my daughter, Lois. I failed as everything went too quickly, sorry about that, I really did try. It all happened rather suddenly on a Thursday night. I’d been to a gig in Bournemouth to see my favourite, Plan B and had only been at home for an hour, when my waters broke and I had to make my way to the hospital, I’ve got to say the staff there were brilliant. Turns out that I was watching Ben Drew, Plan B, on the day that I found out that I was pregnant too.
Saturday 2nd February
I was devastated this week. Whilst watching Tuesday's episode of Eastenders, I spotted a garment from my wardrobe. I would love to say that the snakeskin skirt was being worn by one of the Albert Square teens, like Lucy Beale and it made me feel like a bit of a trend setter. But it wasn’t, instead the offending item will now be burnt after being sported by Cora, Tanya’s Mum, a grandma. Seems as I’m not the only one who’s been wronged by the soap either. Heart listener, Abbie was mortified to see Kat Slater walking down the aisle in the same dress as she was to be married in, in a month’s time. And Emma who text us to say “I was wearing the same top as Heather Trott from Enders once! It came off and went straight in the bin!”
I really thought that we had some romantic guys on the south coast. I very often see blokes walking along the road with flowers in their arms, hopefully for their girlfriends or wives. I have been on a date with a man who wouldn't let me walk in the road side of the pavement; I thought it was very sweet. But it seems that all that lovely-dovey stuff disappears when it comes to marriage proposals. Well it did for Heart listener Rosie, whose husband to be proposed in the doorway of Millets. And for Dan's mate Mark who just handed a ring in a box to his girlfriend and simply said "You win!"
Saturday 26th January
We’ve all been caught short somewhere, not many quite so public as Jason Puncheon this week though. He left the pitch during the Southampton v Everton game at St Mary’s on Monday night. Most of us can sneak off and sneak back after a trip to the toilet, but he had thousands singing about what he had been up to when he returned to the pitch. I’ve regularly popped into a pub to use the facilities, but the worst was when I was so busting to go, I had to get off a train and shoot out of the station, meaning that my friends were still on the train searching for me, while I was miles behind. When you’ve got to go, you’ve got to go, eh Jason?
Adele may have let slip the name of her baby boy. After keeping the secret since he was born in October, she revealed after her performance at the Golden Globes, that she refers to him as ‘Little peanut’ However, later the ‘Someone like you’ singer was spotted out shopping in Los Angeles for little'un’s clothes, wearing a necklace that said Angelo. Could this be the name her and her fiancé chose for their son or are they throwing us off the scent? And what is the reason for keeping it a secret? Is she, like me, worried that if she tells anyone then there will be fourteen boys in the school class because the parents have copied the name?
Saturday 19th January
Last week on Sunday Brunch on the band Lawson were told that they didn’t have enough time to let them cook anything. So, we thought we’d give them the chance this week when they came to our studios. We asked them to have a competition between themselves to see who could decorate the cake the best. I thought they were actually really artistic, you can see for yourself on the breakfast pages. We also learnt that their new song ‘Learn to Love Again’ is about getting back with an ex and putting all the effort required in. And the gorgeous Adam from the band will be my son/daughter’s Godfather, don’t think he knows how heavily I’m going to lean on him nor that he will have to take care of my child for 12 weekends a year, it’s his duty isn’t it?
More than 600,000 people left Facebook last month alone. Has it lost its grip on social networking? Have we moved on to twitter? Or the next big thing? I don’t think it’s for any of these reasons; it’s surely more to do with the rubbish from people’s lives that they post, with the thought that if it’s interesting to them then it must be interesting to you. But I reckon we’re way past that, I’m likely to de-friend someone who puts up too many photos of the dinners they are just about to eat, status updates on how much they love their boyfriend, or pics of kids doing anything. A school friend of mine, last week posted a photo of her 7 year old son in the dentists chair, having a filling, she’s now gone from my friends list.
Saturday 12th January
So the big celebrity romance is apparently over, Haylor are no more. Taylor Swift and One Direction's Harry Styles have called time on their two month relationship. They have visited the lakes, turned up at each others gigs and even holidayed together over the New year. This is apparently where the cracks started to show, spending so much time together, harry found his girlfriend demanding and said she was naggy. I wonder if she's just like us and got straight on to the phone to her mates for them to tell her "He wasn't good enough for you!" as Miss Swift sobs on the line? Did she post a cryptic tweet that had her followers confused about what was going on? Or if Harry's mates took him down the pub and just plied him with beer and shots to get by? Did he get straight on Facebook to change his relationship status to single?
Every parent has had to pay their child to do something at some point, right? But I think my mate Julie has taken it to a whole new level. When round at hers for a cuppa, her eight year old son was bored and looking for something to do. He started negotiating money to do chores, but I don't think he will be the new Alan Sugar, after he was paid just one pound to hoover the carpets, upstairs and down, in the three bedroomed house and the inside of the car! He's still doing better though than the Heart listeners like Gary, who was paid 50p to go and pick fresh mushrooms for his dads fry up each morning. Or Charlotte who got just 10p to tickle her dads back for half an hour. Even though my baby hasn't been born yet, I'm already planning what I will have my little'un do for me.
Saturday 5th January
I realised this week that I really am my mothers daughter. While i was staying with my parents, my mum had lost her voice, dad thought next Christmas had come early. But mum struggled through sounding like a teenage boy going through puberty. On answering the phone, everyone on the other end thought it was my dad, which I found hilarious! Now the reason I say I'm like her is because I used to lose my voice once a week, the reason behind it being the same for both of us, over use!
There's one thing on the world that I hate more than anything else and that's cheese. I know that horrible yellow stuff has some real staunch fans, but I just don't like it. Why would anybody eat it? It's gone off that's the point of it, but u wouldn't eat anything else that was gone off would you? Milk, no, bread, no, meat, no, so why cheese? And why do people have such an obsession with getting me to try it? I've managed quite well my whole life without the smelly food, I don't want to try it now.
The last time I had such a 'life has changed' Christmas was when I was fourteen years old. I opened my presents on Christmas Day, it was all clothes and smellies. Don't get me wrong I loved it all, even my nan had picked me something fashionable from Miss Selfridge. But it was a change year because it was the first year that I didn't receive toys, games or dollies. This year was very similar in that I got loads of stuff for my baby that's due at the end of February. A baby sling, a rocker and many blankets, all felt a bit weird but all needed and it saves me buying it.