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20 January 2015, 19:04
A tired Hampshire father of three has put his child's buggy which signified the end of his "happy carefree low-cost child-free life'' on sale on eBay - and the price has already passed £154,000.
More than 215 bids have been made for the used green pushchair, advertised by Joel Andresier, 39, which he says has had
``pretty much every bodily fluid known to science (and several that have yet to be discovered) chucked over it by my children. It's also absorbed its own weight in Ella's Kitchen meals, and mud''.
But the development manager for the Motability charity, from Sarisbury Green, Southampton adds: ``On the positive none of my three children were stupidly fat but it's been driven by my wife a lot so not all good.
``It even comes with what I lovingly refer to as the Cinderella attachment for the second child you have but don't love as much as the first. It means they can sit but can't see anything and have a ride that's about as comfortable as a Ford Model T.''
The seller tells the woeful tale of how the arrival of his children, and the buggy, changed his life forever.
He wrote: ``I shall be glad to see it leave my premises and never return.
``This was purchased against my wishes many years ago as I never wanted children and buggy signified my wife's intent to have children. We argued much and this buggy signified my wife's intent to have children. We argued much and this buggy signifies everything that ended my happy carefree low-cost child-free life.''
Mr Andresier continued: ``Anyway, as you can tell, I hate the buggy. I now have three children and a labrador and am forced to endure the school run where women I don't know try and discuss the price of center parc holidays and the benefits of the micro over the mini micro scooter. To summarise, my life is over and this green albatross needs to go around some other poor sod's neck.''
The only positive thing he has to say about the pushchair is: ``This buggy has never been used for dog-sledding, racing or buggy bumper cars although I once used it to concuss a randy Alsatian that tried getting amorous with my lab.''
As for what he will do with the proceeds of the sale, he said: ``Any money generated from this sale will be used to help me recover from children (and probably involve drugs and alcohol).''
He finishes by stating: ``You're welcome to come and view it or take samples for further scientific analysis.''
His wife, Susan, 36, said that her husband had a dry sense of humour and she couldn't believe the number of comments and bids that the pushchair had received.
The auction ends on Wednesday 28.