Want to join my club?

16th July: If, like me, you're not joining in with a certain craze currently sweeping across the nation, then you can join my club.

It's called the "I'm Not Reading Fifty Shades of Grey Club".

Here are the rules:

1) You can't be reading Fifty Shades of Grey.

2) You can't be reading any of the other books in the trilogy.

3) You can't have started the book and then decided it's rubbish - this is simply cheating.

4) You can't be thinking about reading the book.

5) You can't have read the book, decided it's not very good, and then decided to join the club. Again, this is cheating.

At the moment there are about 3 of us in the whole of Wiltshire who are members of the I'm Not Reading Fifty Shades of Grey Club. If you'd like to join us it's quite easy.

Simply fill in your name on this form and tell us why you're not on the Fifty Shades of Grey bandwagon. You may even get some kind of membership card. (Don't say I never give you anything.)

Robert, Terri and Bindi Irwin.

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