On wearing a cushion in your pants

23rd June 2012: I'm afraid. Very afraid.

"It'll be fun," they told me. "It'll be a great way to get some exercise," they told me. "There's free pampering with massages and manicures," they told me.

What they failed to mention was that it involved cycling. FORTY kilometers. *scared face*

And now, with under two days to go until Cycletta at Lydiard Park, I'm panicking.

I attempted some form of training. With toddler attached to the baby bike seat, I merrily cycled off along the cycle path. Two hours later, red-faced and puffing, I wheeled back a damaged bicycle, while simultaneously trying to carry a tantrumming toddler three miles home.

Always one for a challenge, I donned the trainers and, yet again, strapped my toddler onto the back of the bike.

Yet again, she got bored and had a tantrum, demanding to "Get down MUMMY!" right before leaning forward and pulling down my trousers and pants to reveal my bare behind in a queue of packed traffic. The poor man in the car behind me got WAY more than he bargained for when he pulled up at those lights.

And that's about the extent of my training.

The lovely people at Mitchells Cycles in Swindon reassure me it won't be too hard. They tell me I'll enjoy it. They've even lent me a snazzy new bike to do the event on.

And there are snack stations along the route. And don't forget that Pamper Zone. Oh yes, it's all about the pampering...

So wish me luck. And if you have any advice for me, then now's the time to share it!