What I'd look like if I was rich
4th April: If I was considerably richer, I would look very different.
In fact, if I was £50,000 richer, I would look just like this...
I wouldn't get any surgery. I wouldn't even dye my hair. I'd simply drape myself in glittering jewels because, you know, diamonds are a girl's best friend and all that.
It's funny. Apart from my engagement ring, I've never actually owned or worn diamonds before. Not real ones anyway. So when David Dudley invited Jez, Producer Adrian and I to his jewellery shop in Marlborough, I was intrigued. I mean, do people actually spend thousands on jewellery? Really?
And it would seem so. Lots of people, in fact. But, let's face it, you have to have a certain amount of ready cash to afford the top top top diamonds. The £50,000 diamonds. I've never seen jewellery worth this much, let alone touched it.
It was all a bit much really. The diamonds sparkled in my eyes and, for a moment, I imagined I was rich. I started ordering Jez and Producer Adrian around. I asked where my butler was. I put my chin in the air and waved my hand around in a circular motion, doing the very best impression of the Queen herself.
Blimey. It felt good.
It's true what they say. Diamonds really are a girl's best friend. They are now, anyway.
Now, where could I get my hand on £50,000.... *sighs dreamily about Who's On Heart*