Bridesmaid Leaks Bride's Terrifying List Of Demands And They're Horrendous
26 July 2017, 14:06
One bridesmaid has blown the whistle on the bride-to-be by releasing her list of demands for the big day and whatever way you look at it, they're terrifying.
Everyone knows that if you finish saying something with "only joking" it doesn't actually mean that you mean it. In fact, that's what you say when you do mean something, but don't want to seem too harsh.
This bride tried to pull that exact trick, right after she emailed her bridesmaids a list of dos and don'ts to her entourage, six months before her big day.
The unnamed bride tried to dictate on her bridesmaids' weight ('No-one can be skinnier than me"), hair, tattoos and even their bedtimes leading up to her wedding day.
She ends the list of parodies with a "Just kidding... Sorta", which we all know means that she does kind of believe what she's saying.
Here is the full list of demands in it's full glory:
"Welcome to my bridal party. I thought today would be a great day to start this chain, as it is officially six months until my wedding day.
Weigh-ins will begin in 3 weeks. I for one would really like some time after Thanksgiving to make my body forget about what it consumed, so I thought I would give you guys some cushion room
No-one can be skinner than the bride. That means Kelly and Lizzie will be on a protein weight gainer diet exclusively until May. I will have the nutritionist call you to discuss diet plans.
Bed times leading up to the wedding will be strictly enforced. I absolutely cannot have you all have saggy, baggy eyes. I am sure you all understand.
Swimwear attire: I would like everyone to wear matching bikinis that have rhinestones on the tushie spelling out "maids," which brings me to my next point.
All bikinis leading up to the wedding must be strapless bandeaus. I cannot have terrible tan lines in strapless dresses.
Sunscreen: We need to make sure you ladies look lovely and radiant and not red and reptile like. Pack accordingly.
Speeches: We all know what happened at Taylor's wedding. So if you plan to make a toast, please submit it for approval and revision, no later than 4 weeks prior to the wedding.
Hair cuts: If you plan on chopping off your locks, please submit your proposed new look prior to any actions (this applies to colouring as well).
Attendance: is strongly requested at all events but I will make some exceptions on a case by case basis.
Ink: Consider this a moratorium on future tattoos until June 5th. Those of you with visible artwork will be privately contacted with (temporary) removal instructions.
Should everyone abide by these minor requests, I am sure we will all have a memorable weekend. Just kidding ******, well, sorta. Love you all."
So is this a joke? We can't tell, and if we're unsure then can you image how anxious these bridesmaids must be?
All we can hope for is that the nutritionists aren't a thing and that the women can share their friend's special day without the stress of having the bride's day ruined by their "saggy, baggy eyes".