Dan's Blog

Thursday 4th August
Not a bad day when you discover you won't go bald until you're 75.
See how you get on with the new baldness calculator.
Was looking forward to rocking the comb over look as well... 

Wednesday 3rd August
'Tis the season for long car journeys, tra la la la laa etc.
If you're hitting the road this month, what games do you play to pass the time in the car? 
We had so many through on our facebook page, I've posted the best ones below. 
It's a bit like a road trip reference library.

  • Kez Miller - You have to look at last 3 letters on number plates and make the funniest 3 word sentence using each letter as beginning of each word.
  • Charlene Maines - Eye spy
  • Helen Merritt - "Custard" - you get points for yellow cars 1 point yellow van 2 points and 3 points for anything bigger.

  • Christy Cole - Car Cricket - you get 1 run for a red/silver car, 2 runs for a van/minibus, 4 runs for a lorry and 6 for a motorbike! You get bowled out by an emergency vehicle, and LBW for a caravan and also run out for any green car. Its a good way to pass the time!

  • Pam Butt - We have just come back from holiday, my daughter was doing a wordsearch, every time she found the word she shouted it out and the first person to sing a line from a song with the word in was the winner. It was great fun, as age range in the car was 15-80!

  • Eleisha Chesman - Eddie stobart spotting and reading the names!

  • Lea Short - We do animal/names/countries alphabet... we all play and start at A going through the alphabet either
    doing girls or boys names or countries or things like that

Monday 10th January

About to cross a road in Chichester on Saturday night, when all of a sudden my girlfriend GRABS my arm, “Look out!  That car’s got its winker on!”

I beg your pardon, its WINKER?

Apparently that’s what her Mum has always called indicators.

Thinking about it, I suppose they do wink don’t they, so I kind of get that. 

It seems like most of us have alternative names for everyday items, especially when it comes to the remote control. The humble remote has more names than the electoral roll of China. Think about it, what do you call yours? Zapper and doofer are both popular, but the best name I’ve heard for the remote is 100% unique.  No-one else calls their remote by this name, guaranteed.

It comes from a friend of a friend, whose ENTIRE family call the remote control… ‘Pippa the Pinger.’

Pippa the Pinger, love it!  You can imagine them now, rummaging down the back of the sofa, with the Coronation Street theme playing in the background going, “Where’s Pippa? Where’s Pippa!”

Monday 25th October

I’ve just heard the new Black Eyed Peas song, and it sounds a little familiar.

You know how ‘no-one puts baby in the corner’…Well…

What do you think of it?

It’s from their new album which hits the south coast on 30th November.


Wednesday 6th October
Remember Lady Gaga’s meat dress?
Bruce Willis paid tribute to it on American TV last night,  by walking on wearing a steak wig on his bald head. How he kept a straight face I've no idea...

14th September 2010

Back from holiday so obviously my flat is like a laundrette.  Half expecting Dot Cotton to appear out of nowhere at any moment.

Spent a few days in Sicily and then hopped over* to Malta for a wedding. 

Now apart from doing a lot of sitting down, thought I’d share the rest of the highlights with you…

Going up Mount Etna was amazing. It last erupted about 8 years ago, so when you put your hand down a gap in the rocks, it’s still hot! We went a few thousand feet up, where not only did it seem like walking on the moon but you also get a great phone signal and could easily update facebook.** 

Dan's Holiday - Taormina & Malta 74




















Then in Malta, we took a boat that looked like something from Pirates of the Caribbean to go snorkelling in the Blue Lagoon.

Dan's Holiday - Taormina & Malta 123










Check out the fish!

Dan's Holiday - Taormina & Malta 122










Oh, and if you’re off to the Southampton Boat show between now and Sunday, see if you can spot a vessel with a better name than this…

Dan's Holiday - Taormina & Malta 95










More photos on my facebook page: www.facebook.com/thisismills

Finally, I love how on budget airlines where they don’t give you a seat number, the second someone vaguely important approaches the desk in the departure lounge, EVERYONE gets up and queues.  Might just be the cleaner emptying the bins.  This happened at the airport yesterday, even though the incoming flight hadn’t…even…landed. Naturally, I was in the queue.

*long legs
** loser

Monday 16th August

So many movie premieres happening this week.

First up tonight is ‘Salt’ the new Angelina Jolie action thriller.

It hits the South Coast on Wednesday and our showbiz reporter will be live on the red carpet with all the gossip before 7 this evening.

Meanwhile, have a look at the trailer.


I love the way police cars in American action movies disintegrate immediately upon impact.

Should probably stop making them out of balsawood.

Tuesday 27th July

So after Jules from Heart Breakfast was given dried chicken feet by a friend who’d just come back from holiday, it got me thinking about how much I love tourist tat.

The answer is: a lot.

So much so, here’s the tat-shelf in my flat:

Dan's Tat Shelf








It’s the best way of using up foreign coins at the end of your holiday.

Most of it – such as the voodoo doll at the back - is thanks to my brother Ben, and nothing says Budapest like a soldier-shaped corkscrew that’s slightly on the wonk.

Part of me would love to take this along to the Antiques Roadshow and INSIST they’re all family heirlooms and worth a fortune.

If you have a similar tat shelf/draw/cupboard – let me know – or send me a photo.

Wednesday 21st July 2010

Things are looking good for the annual chilli growing competition - just take a look at this bad boy!

Dan's Chilli Plant








That is what you call success.  Potential success.  Must be the south coast air.    

The judging happens in September, fingers crossed it’s me on top the podium this year…

Podium at Chilli Festival





Thursday 8th July 2010

Are you a fan of fancy dress parties?

I love them!  Past glories include going as Dungeon Master from Dungeons & Dragons

This Saturday though, is my friends annual beer festival and it’s World Cup fancy dress.
Did toy with going as a lifesize vuvuzela, but that’s just asking for the car to break down en route and me having to stand at the side of the road like a lemon (a vuvuzela-shaped lemon) for the northbound M1’s enjoyment.

But when events took a tragic turn for England, the choice was simple.  

I’m going to the World Cup fancy dress party as… Disappointment.

Here’s how:

Painted on my face, a combination of the George cross and a sad clown.
Then there’s this specially-commissioned T-shirt…

Dan's 'Disappointment' T-Shirt












Would still prefer NOT to break down en route mind.

Check back for photo evidence next week.

Tuesday 29th June

Having massive Glastonbury withdrawal symptoms today.

After years of saying, ‘maybe next year’ I finally went, and while camping in a crowded field for 4 days at 30 degree heat may not be everyone’s cup of Earl Gray, it was like being in a completely different country and I loved it!

So many highlights:

Rolf Harris starting things on Friday doing ‘Tie Me Kangaroo Down Sport’ to the tune of ‘Land of Hope and Glory’

Watching a guy with bare feet spending at least ten minutes trying to jump into his own shoes.

Belinda Carlisle coming on 90 minutes late, singing ‘Heaven Is A Place On Earth’ disappearing for half an hour before coming back on and singing… ‘Heaven Is A Place On Earth.’

Stevie Wonder doing a bit of Alicia Keys ‘Empire State of Mind’ and ‘duetting’ with Michael Eavis on a special version of ‘Happy Birthday’ for the festival’s 40th anniversary.

The Edge joining Muse on stage to do ‘Where The Streets Have No Name’

Also caught AMAZING sets from: Vampire Weekend, Example and Marina & The Diamonds,  

We’ve got some great photos across the festival here

And my personal ones including the silent disco, afternoon tea and the back of Snoop Dogg here

Finally, so many people have asked how smelly the toilets are.

On NO OTHER holiday do you get asked that when you get back!

Anyway, in answer to the question…Fragrant.

Tuesday 15th June

You know the pages of instructions you get when you buy something electrical.  They’re normally in a choice of 78 different languages as well aren’t they?
Well this tickled me today when a new laptop battery arrived in the post.

Instructions for a laptop battery

Now this raises many questions:
1)    Have people actually done this in the past?
2)    Er…Why?
3)    At what point did the occurrence of battery hammering incidents around the globe become so frequent, that battery HQ needed to call an emergency meeting around the (battery-shaped) boardroom table to decide a plan of action?

Anyway, I’ll just pop the hammer back in the kitchen messy drawer and share this with you.

It’s only one of the best burger recipes ever!

It’s from Heston Blumenthal, so was imagining I’d have to find the Liquid Nitrogen aisle in the supermarket, but no! Really easy and a unique taste too.

Clearly ‘Grannie Anne’ is a big fan.


Looking into doing some “Coasteering” for my best mate’s stag do next year.
Had never heard of this until did some research last night.
How cool / potentially leg-breaking does this look!!!

Monday 14th June

Firstly, congratulations if you took part in Race for Life in Winchester yesterday.
Over 2300 women raised £160,000 for Cancer Research UK.
It’s always a really inspirational day and such a heart-felt speech by Mary Ann Gallagher on stage before the race.

It was a privilege to start and commentate on the race, sorry about my Abba singing though!
The Heart Angels took around 100 photos yesterday, so see if you can spot yourself or someone you know here.

I’ll see you in Southsea for the Portsmouth Race for Life next month.
Want to do it? More info here:

Secondly, so many people have been raving about Pink at the Isle of Wight Festival this weekend.  
She got in one of those big see through balls (wearing a thong) and zorbed over the crowd!
She also flew over their heads at the end of the set, but just wait til you see how she started it.

Thursday 3rd June

Why does everything look better in black and white?

If you've ever seen yourself in black and white wedding photos – you just look a bit classier – and I've no idea why.

Maybe after all the hype about 3D movies has died down, they'll bring out black & white glasses to make films look classier*

In the mean time, here's a sneak preview of the new black and white video for Lady Gaga's next tune 'Alejandro.'

It's a great summer tune...

*this won't happen.



Tuesday 1st June

Firstly, where on earth is this year going?  Can’t believe it’s June already.

Secondly: Ra Ra-ah-ah-ah, Roma Roma-ma, GaGa, Oh la-la, Want your romance.

Lady Gaga was AMAZING at the O2 on Sunday!

I love that bit at gigs when the next song starts, but the crowd haven’t quite recognised it yet. The anticipation builds and builds and builds, and then…all of a sudden…completely out of the blue…you hear, “Mum mum mum mah”

Cue lots of jumping and waving of arms in the air because it’s Poker Face!

Lady GaGa performing at London's O2









She did a great cover of Ben E King’s Stand By Me.
3rd quarter of the gig was a load of guff off the album that no-one was too fussed about including: You’ve Got Teeth

Lady GaGa performing at London's O2









But the sight of the night was definitely Lady Gaga squatting on top of the piano and playing it with her foot!
Now you imagine doing this. Would people pay to watch it? Exactly. But somehow it really worked. Worth mentioning the piano was also on fire at the time. Classic.

Lady GaGa performing at London's O2









In summary, great gig, made even better by arriving at the o2 by boat:

And then finding this brilliant pub, 5 minutes walk from the venue:

In fact the pub was so good, (it had board games) me and my girlfriend were probably the only two people who nearly missed the start of the show because we were locked in a tense game of Scrabble.

That’s how we roll.

Friday 21st May

Men love being in control of a barbeque.

Beer in one hand, tongs in the other, while the girls always seem to get lumbered with…making the salad.

So as this is looking like a BBQ weekend on the south coast, I have found the most ridiculous looking barbeque EVER.

This is the Bruce Willis of barbeques, take a look at this beauty…

Want one???

Thursday 13th May 2010

So you’re in a busy bar and you can’t hear a word the other person’s saying. There are 3 options.

The first and most sensible would be to move somewhere quieter and carry on the conversation.  That never happens. You could produce a paper and pen or text each other some chat, not really practical though.  Or you could go for my favoured option, which is to say “PARDON” and move your ear directly in line with the other person’s mouth.  There is a danger though with option three.  There seems to be an unofficial rule that after 2 “pardons” you give up trying to understand what’s being said and just nod and smile.  I know one day I’ll get caught out be this when the other person tells me their pet ferret of 5 years has died and I’m just nodding going “hahaha yes, yes.”

So imagine the delight when I read:

Designers have revealed an item which makes it easy to have conversations in busy bars –

The 'social sphere' allows you to hear each other in situations with loud background noise.
They work by filtering out ambient noise of music and chatter, allowing you to hear exactly what is being said.

This is the future…today!


I clicked on the link, really excited that this predicament would be over forever, until… I saw the photo of said device…

Back to nodding and grinning then.

Wednesday 21st July 2010

Things are looking good for the annual chilli growing competition - just take a look at this bad boy!

Dan's Chilli Plant