He Says She Says 05/08/10

This week: What makes a perfect partner?

He Says:

I have said on many occasions that I have a great wife. I really believe that to be the case, but on being asked the question, ‘what makes a good wife or husband’, it’s got me thinking what exactly constitutes ‘good’.

I’m not sure, if asked, my wife would put me in the ‘good’ hubby category. It’s true that I do all that is expected of a husband - as I’m sure many do - but what’s the extra bit that makes you a ‘good’ husband.

Or does it mean just that if you’re not a ‘bad’ husband then, by default, you become a good one? Why does this not cross over into everyday life in that whatever profession you’re in that unless you’re truly rubbish then you’re good. Many will say ‘he’s a good husband’ or ‘she’s a good wife’ – we never refer to partners as ‘average’ – just good or bad.

We often refer to a friend as a ‘good friend’ and this is because they tend to go beyond the call of duty - the ones that will pick you up from the airport in the middle of the night (thanks Russ) and there are those that are acquaintances but as a spouse surly you are expected to play the part of good friend.

So I’m none the wiser as to whether I’m a good husband. I will arrive home with an impromptu bunch of flowers occasionally, or perhaps suggest we go out for lunch but modesty perhaps stops me proclaiming myself a “good.”
The more I think about it, the more I might consider demoting my wife to just ‘wife’ and stripping her of the good bit since all she really does is what should be expected not to say she doesn’t do those things well - but I think we should be encouraged to work a little harder and not be so free and easy with the ‘good’ label!

She Says:

It’s a subject that some people might say that I’m not best qualified to talk about considering I don’t have one, but never mind I’ll give it my best shot, so what makes a good husband.

As I have already mentioned, I don’t have a husband and never had, and whilst I never plan on getting married therefore I’ll never actually have a husband I will at some point probably live with someone which I think is the same and when looking for that person to share the rest of my life with I’ll be looking for certain things.

I absolutely think that a good husband should be someone that is able to multi task. I know what you’re thinking - where do you find one of those? I think they’re out there and if they show that they can as much as wash up and talk to you at the same time it’s a good start.

They also need to be able to cook, a good husband or partner should have learnt to look after themselves, I don’t want to be going away for the weekend and before I leave have to plate up three meals and put them in the freezer so he doesn’t starve.

A good husband should want to listen to you, they should be concerned about what has happened in your day, they should ask questions about the things that you are interested in and actually listen to your answer.

I would also look at how a man behaves when he is around children. There is something reassuringly lovely about a guy who enjoys spending time with their friends’ kids and it has to be a good sign if you are planning on having a family together later on.

These would be the things that I would look for in a man that would make him a good husband or partner. I know they are basic - but this is where it starts and the rest will follow.

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