Woman asks if she’s being unreasonable for not wanting custom ring made for partner’s ex

18 April 2019, 11:33

The Reddit user has posted on the forum to discuss her dilemma
The Reddit user has posted on the forum to discuss her dilemma. Picture: PA
Mared Parry

By Mared Parry

A loved-up lady has spoken out about her relationship dilemma

A Reddit user has taken to the forum site to seek advice on whether or not it's unreasonable of her to refuse to accept an engagement ring from her boyfriend as he had originally bought it for an ex.

She went on to explain that she and her partner had always talked about marriage but that he's recently asked her if she'd ever consider taking an engagement ring he already owns as he never actually asked his ex to marry him.

The post read: "So just a short background on the ring and our story: he and his ex had broken up about three years ago, and while he has dated girls between then and now, I was the first girl he saw a future with and wanted to marry.

"So anyway, he and his ex were together for about four years and he had planned to propose to her, however the proposal did not happen because the girl had broken his heart again and again and he finally had enough.

The ex had never actually proposed with the ring, but it was intended for someone else
The ex had never actually proposed with the ring, but it was intended for someone else. Picture: PA

"Before that though, he had ordered a customised ring from overseas for her.

"I’m not sure what the actual value of the ring was, but according to him he spent few thousand dollars on the ring in total.

"This was not even including the money spent flying to and from."

She explains that the boyfriend had asked whether she'd be okay with accepting the old ring that was intended for his ex as it had just been sitting in his cupboard and he finally felt like there was a 'purpose' to the old ring.

She added that she understood that it was practical, and made sense financially, but "Something in my heart just can’t get over the fact that the ring was originally made for someone else in mind."

"He assured me that she never wore it, but I just don’t want something that wasn’t made for me. Am I being unreasonable?

"I don’t need an expensive ring, and I don’t need diamonds, but I’d like the ring to be bought with me in mind.

"I suggested that he sell the ring away, but he said that he had asked the jeweller before and he could only get a few hundred dollars back for it.

"The ring was only expensive because of all the customisations that he had made to it. The jewel/material of the ring itself was not that expensive."

Plenty of the forum users chimed in with their opinions on the awkward situation, with one woman saying: "Eh, I understand the practicality of it but I’d still feel funky about accepting ring that wasn’t intended for me.

She continued: "I wasn’t sure if I was being a snob about it so I asked my husband. He said ditch the ring.

"He also said I’m a snob anyway. Thanks honey."

Another wrote: "No girl! You’re not being unreasonable. Rings carry stories and history.

"If it’s not a story you want to carry around on your finger for the rest of your relationship, you are totally within your rights.

"Also, that ring was customized for another woman, not for you. Get another ring!"

Personally we'd want a new ring, what are pawn shops for?!

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