Hollyoaks actress Kirsty-Leigh Porter posts heartbreaking tribute to still born daughter

14 February 2019, 11:16 | Updated: 14 February 2019, 15:00

Kirsty-Leigh Porter shared a heartbreaking tribute to her still born daugter
Kirsty-Leigh Porter shared a heartbreaking tribute to her still born daugter. Picture: Instagram

Her daughter was tragically born sleeping in December 2018 and now she has posted an emotional tribute.

Hollyoaks actress Kirsty-Leigh Porter - who plays Leela Lomax on the Channel 4 soap - sadly gave birth to a still born daughter in December last year.

At the start of this year she announced the sad news on Instagram and said "Our beautiful baby girl Penny-Leigh Barber was born sleeping".

Read more: Love Island star Malin Andersson tragically reveals her newborn has died 4 weeks after being born

The post was alongside a heartbreaking image of Penny-Leigh's hospital wrist band and hand and footprints.

She said: "My heart has never felt pain like it. Sleep sweetly our angel. We will always love you. Love your Mummy & Daddy".

Now she has shared a tearjerking tribute to her late baby daughter with an image posted on Instagram showing a mother playing with an angel child in front of a sunset.

View this post on Instagram

I have been wondering whether I should post this or not.. but here it is... I am posting this for Penny-Leigh, I am posting this for every single woman and man who have messaged me with their stories of their sleeping angels, (I have read every single one and still messaging back) I am posting this for anyone who needs to see it, I am posting this with strength that our babies will not be forgotten. I am posting this with the strength of every single person who has messaged me who understands what it’s like, in the hope that you understand you are not alone. And I am here for you. I wrote this when I had just lost my baby girl Penny-Leigh. 👼🏼 My heart physically aches, it is in a million pieces and whilst they try to find their way back together it’s no use as my heart will never be whole again, because when you left, a big piece of it left with you and will always be with you wherever you are. Nothing makes sense anymore because I can’t hold you in my arms. I don’t get to see your first smile, your first wriggle, I don’t get to dress you, change your nappy, feed you, bath you, kiss you goodnight and hug you in the morning, watch you take your first steps, watch you grow, But I will always be your mummy. I will always do you proud. As unbelievable grief consumes me and this dark cloud sticks above me, I still have your light to guide me. The brightest star in the sky. Oh my darling Penny-Leigh, my beautiful little girl, You came into our life like a whirlwind and now all of sudden it’s gone. Quiet and still, completely numb. All our plans, our future, snatched away in a moment that we can never go back too and change. My mind can’t comprehend how I have given birth yet my baby is not here with me. How is that ok? How is that ever going to be ok? People say “she was too good for this earth” but that would mean there was a reason you are not still here with your mummy and daddy, and I don’t think there is any reason for it. How can being anywhere but in our arms better for you? With the overwhelming grief comes GUILT. If I’m not a heap on the bathroom floor hiding myself away crying, I am wondering aimlessly around the room with GUILT #stillborn #angelbaby

A post shared by Kirsty-Leigh Porter ☮️♑️💟 (@kirststarburst) on

In the emotional caption she talks about how she has had lots of messages from other parents who have lost their children and that she wanted to express her feelings for those who "need to see it".

Taking about the huge loss of her daughter said: "Nothing makes sense anymore because I can’t hold you in my arms. I don’t get to see your first smile, your first wriggle, I don’t get to dress you, change your nappy, feed you, bath you, kiss you goodnight and hug you in the morning, watch you take your first steps, watch you grow, But I will always be your mummy. I will always do you proud."

"My mind can’t comprehend how I have given birth yet my baby is not here with me. How is that ok? How is that ever going to be ok? People say “she was too good for this earth” but that would mean there was a reason you are not still here with your mummy and daddy, and I don’t think there is any reason for it. How can being anywhere but in our arms better for you? With the overwhelming grief comes GUILT. If I’m not a heap on the bathroom floor hiding myself away crying, I am wondering aimlessly around the room with GUILT"

Her thousands of Instagram followers jumped to her support with words of love and kindness with many urging her not to blame herself and praising her for being so open and relatable on the subject.