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21 May 2019, 14:01
The American mum currently feels like she has no control over her finances.
An anonymous American mum has taken to Reddit to share her financial dilemma and to ask others if she is being unreasonable.
Posting on the 'Am I the as***le?' forum, she explained that she had agreed with her husband to be a stay-at-home mum since the birth of their son, who is now 18 months old.
This was down to the wife making "about 1/8" of what her husband earns, and it made complete financial sense.
The woman explained that while this arrangement was fine at first, she now believes that she has no power over their finances as a couple.
She posted: "My husband earns good money but he's very frugal about nonessential spending because he wants to be financially independent (no job, earnings from investments) at an early age.
"Granted he was like this when I met him but I also had my own salary at the time to do what I wanted."
She was able to go out and treat herself when she had her own salary, as she explained she enjoyed: "eating out, going out with friends and going shopping" but that she now has fights with her hubby every time she wants to buy anything in triple figures.
The frustrated wife continued: "This means if I go out to get clothing, makeup, brunch, little treats, etc. and the amount exceeds $150, I would need to call him beforehand and talk about what I'm buying.
"It feels extremely restrictive and quite frankly humiliating. He spends so little on himself that it seems like to him that I'm the one spending all the money on myself every month."
She went on to explain that her sister is also a stay at home mum, and that she and her husband have an agreement where she is 'paid' for childcare and home keeping.
Her sister is paid a few thousand a month "to spend on whatever she wants because in their relationship he's also the stingy/frugal one and she wants to have more pocket money for fun things."
She said that her sister gets paid around £2,700 a month as it's around the same as a full-time nanny would get, and asked:"would I be the as***le to suggest a similar arrangement with my husband so I don't need to go groveling for money every time I want to buy myself something nonessential?"
We're not sure about you, but we feel like payment is a rather fair compromise in this situation.