Mum-of-two admits she wishes she didn't have children as life was 'better' before them

5 October 2020, 12:38

The candid mum said she feels like she has lost her identity since having children
The candid mum said she feels like she has lost her identity since having children. Picture: Getty
Alice Dear

By Alice Dear

One mum has shared her candid opinion of motherhood after welcoming two children with her husband.

This mum-of-two has shared how she really feels about motherhood in candid open letter.

The woman, who is unnamed, shared her story with Kidspot, explaining that she wishes she didn't have her two children, and that her life would be "better" without them.

She said that she loves her two sons very much, but that "the reality just didn’t meet the expectation" when it came to having children.

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The unnamed woman said she 'wasn't and couldn't be' who she had been before kids
The unnamed woman said she 'wasn't and couldn't be' who she had been before kids. Picture: Getty

The open letter reads: "In all honesty, it is actually quite simple and straightforward.

"Yet I suppose it's not ever said out loud by many people - I wish I didn’t have my two children because I think my life would be much better without them. Because it was better without them."

She explains that before becoming a mother, she loved her career and was in a very happy marriage where they travelled and had a great social life.

However, after having two children she "wasn't and couldn't be" who she had been before, and "not in a good way like so many other mothers experience (or at least say they do)."

The woman and her husband have two sons
The woman and her husband have two sons. Picture: Getty

The woman said that after she welcomed her first son with her husband, she became "the person she never wanted to be".

Despite her feelings, she went on to have another child with her husband, hoping a second child would change her feelings on motherhood.

However, the woman found it did not change her feelings, and admitted she felt a sense she "lost her identity".

She explains that before becoming a mother, she loved her career and was in a very happy marriage where they travelled and had a great social life.
She explains that before becoming a mother, she loved her career and was in a very happy marriage where they travelled and had a great social life. Picture: Getty

She wrote: "My career is now more of a job. While I still hold the same position, I am part time and it means I just can’t fully invest the way I once had, which was part of the reason I had loved it so much."

The woman added: "My children are loved, they truly are, but they aren’t my identity; they are not who I am or how I want to live my life.

"Instead, they are often obstacles that get in the way of how I want to live it. Or they are the centre point of what everything I do has to be based around and I don’t want to live like that.

"I miss my life how it was before kids incredibly, so much so that I daydream about what it was like frequently."

The mother ended the honest letter by saying she never would have had children if she had known how it would make her feel.

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