Parents divide opinion after hiring a private investigator to spy on their nanny

16 July 2020, 17:44

The mum and dad posted on Reddit about their decision to hire a P.I that went a bit wrong...

You need to trust your nanny if you're going to be leaving your children with them for extended periods of time, right?

Apparently that wasn't the case for one couple who decided they would hire a private investigator to look into a young woman who is their two kids' nanny.

The anonymous couple, who are thought to be from the US, posted on the online forum Reddit about the pickle they've gotten themselves into, after their mistrust in their nanny landed them in hot water.

The father posted on the site, asking fellow users wether or not he was in the wrong for hiring the investigator, claiming he wanted to find out "the truth" about the person looking after his three-year-old and one-year-old.

He continued to say how recently he went to pay her for her work, but she was busy bathing the children and asked him to put the money in her purse.

The dad stated that he did as she asked, but says he couldn't help noticing something strange about the ID in her wallet.

He wrote: "When I opened her wallet to put it inside, I couldn’t help but see her ID in the transparent front pocket, and it had her photo but her name was completely different from the one she had given us and we’d background checked when we had hired her.

"She’s been great, so I didn’t want to just fire her, but this meant she was either using a fake name with us or carrying a fake ID, so we had to see if she was trying to hide something relevant.

"She’s someone who spends prolonged time alone with our kids."

While the point is fair, many of the forum users were concerned that the parent felt the need to hire an investigator instead of simply asking the nanny, who they are meant to trust.

However, the father explained that he spoke to his wife and they thought that the P.I was the best option as the nanny couldn't then "hide anything" from them or "backtrack" when they confronted her.

According to the post, the investigator did some digging and "discovered she had the ID to circumvent a bureaucratic rule about student living arrangements for the graduate school at her university".

The parents decided that it wasn't a big deal and they weren't planning on bringing anything up with the nanny, but their own toddler dropped them in it and let the nanny know.

The posted added: "She was very upset, said it was none of our business why she would have two IDs, and it was a violation of her privacy to look into her life instead of just asking her. Now she’s even considering quitting.

"We feel awful, but are also weighing that with how awful we’d feel if we didn’t do due diligence and there was something serious to it.

"We’re conflicted now, because she has always been wonderful."

Those in the comments were divided in their opinions on the situation, with some slating the parents for not respecting her privacy: "You 100% violated her privacy. She said 'put the money in my purse' not 'look through my bag and personal belongings and snoop around in my wallet", wrote one.

Another made the point: "There are actually loads of legitimate reasons she could have IDs with two separate names.

"Maybe she had an embarrassingly short marriage that she's since left, maybe she always went by a middle/alternate name and only recently formalised it, maybe she changed her name to get away from abusive, prying family."

However, a few were in agreement with the parents' controversial decision.

One user wrote: "She gave him permission to put the money in her purse. He put the money where money is usually found. He inadvertently saw something suspicious and had it checked out. It's too late if something happens to your kids."

And another added: "She watches your kids, you have the right to know what her deal is. Also, someone's gotta employ the private investigators, amrite?"