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15 October 2020, 08:20
This Morning's Phillip Schofield said he knew he 'needed professional help' after his issues started affecting work.
Phillip Schofield has opened up about dealing with his sexuality and mental health in his new book, Life’s What You Make Of It.
In the book, the presenter revealed how he once ran off This Morning to be sick as he dealt with guilt and turmoil over his sexuality.
He also shared that another time he called in sick for work at the last minute during the peak of his issues.
Phil was in a car on the way to the This Morning studios when he asked the driver to take him home, text the producers to say he wasn't coming in and turned off his phone.
He explains in his book: "It was the first time my issues had spilled over into work. Another day I had to leave a fashion item to be sick. I now knew that I needed professional help.”
The TV presenter then went on get therapy and was prescribed medication before making the decision to come out to loved ones, and then to the public on live TV.
In the book, Phillip says he became "increasingly aware" he might be gay in the past five years.
He told his wife, Steph, first – who he has praised for being incredibly supportive – and then best friend and co-star Holly Willoughby.
He told Holly in the dressing room of This Morning, and later told his two daughters before driving to his mum's house to tell her.
Phillip writes in the book: "I had to come out. If I didn’t, the secret was going to give me a total breakdown . . . at best.”
He added that his mental health is "still and work in progress" and that he feels he's "not fixed, not yet".
The TV star came out to the public back in February when he did a live interview with Holly on This Morning.
At the time, he said: "With the strength and support of my wife and my daughters, I have been coming to terms with the fact that I am gay."
He added: "There is no question that it, in recent times, has consumed my head. And has become an issue in my head.
"All you can be in life, is honest with yourself. And I was getting to the point when I knew I wasn't honest with myself.
"I was getting to the point where I didn't like myself very much because I wasn't being honest with myself."