Roxanne Pallett reveals she turned to prayer after 'punch-gate' as she shares loved-up pic with fiancé

29 November 2019, 08:00

The former Emmerdale actress is engaged to US firefighter Jason Carrion

Roxanne Pallett has shared a photo of her kissing her American firefighter fiancé, revealing that she turned to prayer after the CBB 'punch-gate' scandal.

The former Emmerdale actress, 36, caused huge controversy when she accused Ryan Thomas of being violent with her during an appearance in Celebrity Big Brother - which later turned out to have been playfighting.

After apologising on daytime TV for her actions, she largely disappeared from private life - but she is now living in the US and engaged to firefighter Jason Carrion.

Sharing a rare pic of the two of them to celebrate Thanksgiving, Roxanne praised her fiancé and revealed that she turned to prayer to cope after the scandal.

She wrote: "It’s Thanksgiving here in America & I want to share something with you all.

"This time last year, I was in my scruffs, sobbing into a bowl of mac n cheese, having not showered for days.

View this post on Instagram

It’s Thanksgiving here in America & I want to share something with you all. This time last year, I was in my scruffs, sobbing into a bowl of mac n cheese, having not showered for days. Then my mam (picture Sally Field in Steel Magnolias) gave me some tough love & told me to start counting my blessings instead of licking my wounds & dwelling on disappointments. She told me to notice the people that were there & holding me up, not the ones who had left & knocked me down. She told me that I had a lot to be thankful for & she was right. (She’s always right!) The next day I began to practice gratitude. I’ve never been majorly religious but I can now say I’ve seen the power of prayer. I’d close my eyes & list the things I was lucky to have. My health being the first & foremost as it’s something we do all take for granted at times. I thanked God for my mam & aunty, for my home, for the friends who were by my side, for all of the beautiful moments I’ve had in my life. I prayed with gratitude but didn’t ask for anything, I just created a storyboard of blessings in my mind, things I had lost sight of. As I began to realise how lucky I actually was, the tough times that had broken me soon faded into the background. I began to see my life change shape for the better. A day at a time. It was almost like the moment I looked for the good, it actually blossomed into a better view from where I was standing. A year on as I write this, so much has changed, within me & around me. My mind-frame more than anything & my ability to recognise how lucky I am. I’m more stronger now than ever & yet I’m softer too. I see now that it’s possible to be both! To anyone who is in the midst of their darkness right now, I promise you, with the right thought process you can & will come through it, as I have. Just find little blessings in every day & let those overshadow the difficulties. To those who never gave up on me, I’m so grateful for you in my corner. And to my incredible man @bklynbad who saw my fire & ran towards it not away from it, thank you for loving me. ❤️ #happythanksgiving

A post shared by Rox (@roxannepallettofficial) on

"Then my mam (picture Sally Field in Steel Magnolias) gave me some tough love & told me to start counting my blessings instead of licking my wounds & dwelling on disappointments.

"She told me to notice the people that were there & holding me up, not the ones who had left & knocked me down.

"She told me that I had a lot to be thankful for & she was right. (She’s always right!)"The next day I began to practice gratitude. I’ve never been majorly religious but I can now say I’ve seen the power of prayer."I’d close my eyes & list the things I was lucky to have. My health being the first & foremost as it’s something we do all take for granted at times.

"I thanked God for my mam & aunty, for my home, for the friends who were by my side, for all of the beautiful moments I’ve had in my life."

Jason, 33, appeared on Married At First Sight, and divorced from his wife Cortney Hendrix in February of this year.

In the months after the CBB fallout, Roxanne revealed that she was suffering from PTSD and anxiety as a result of the controversy.

Writing on her Instagram story back in March, Roxanne said: “Thank you for all your message from over the last few months whilst I was taking some time away & getting some long overdue therapy for PTSD, Panic Disorder & Anxiety. Your support during my darkest days have meant more to me than you could possibly know. 

“I felt so alone & unwelcome in this world that I prayed for God to take me away, but somehow I pushed through. And part of that was because I was shown love, understanding & compassion. When I had no fight left in me, others were fighting for me. The strength from a kind message, a reassuring smile or a hug in a supermarket were all part of the rescue which helped me take a step forward. 

“As anyone who battles mental health knows, it’s a long road ahead. We are all human, we all make mistakes, we are all learning. Just trying to get through each day. I just wanted to say thank you. (sic)".

Her accusation in the CBB house caused uproar in the outside world, and Roxanne eventually walked from the house and Ryan ended up winning the show.

Roxanne was labelled 'manipulative', and a 'liar', and many of her former Emmerdale co-stars came forward with similar stories of what she had done to them.

Roxanne apologised twice on TV - once on The Jeremy Vine Show and once in an interview with Emma Willis - and she subsequently quit all her upcoming commitments, including her part of Cinderella in a pantomime.