On Air Now
Heart Breakfast with Jamie Theakston and Amanda Holden 6:30am - 10am
23 March 2021, 15:56
A father-to-be has been left questioning what he should do after his wife revealed her baby name plans for their unborn son.
A husband has been left 'heartbroken' as his wife announced she wanted to name their son after her ex-boyfriend.
The man, 31, took to Reddit to share his story, and ask for advice, admitting he was 'heartbroken' by her request.
The unnamed man explained that his wife, 30, had dated this man before they met, but they had stayed in touch since breaking up.
However, he was later tragically involved in a car accident and lost his life.
Now, she wants to use his name as a middle name for their unborn son as a way to "honour his memory".
The man's post on the forum explained that he and his wife have been married for two years, and that she was with this other man for several years before they met.
He explained: "They were on the verge of moving in together when she dumped him. I met her a few months after. They share a whole friend group and have always stayed in touch.
"They didn't talk every day but about twice a month would catch up via text or FaceTime. She never hid it from me or lied about it. I've met him a few times and he seemed like a standup guy. He even came to our wedding and said he had a great time."
The post continued: "My problem started when he died in a terrible accident a few months later. I was on a business trip when my wife went to his funeral (she did invite me to go but I couldn't get out of it).
"She was broken up about it but no more or less than anyone who has had someone they care about die. I thought she was over it until we recently found out she was pregnant."
This takes us to a few weeks ago when the couple started discussing potential baby names.
He wrote: "She wants to give our son X's first or last name as his middle name. They're both common names so nobody would immediately make that connection but I don't want to think of her ex every time I look at my kid.
"I'm heartbroken that she wants to. She says he was such a big part of her life and we should honour his memory.
"Plus we wouldn't be together if she hadn't ended things with him. I said I'd think about it but I don't really know what to tell her. Our marriage is otherwise perfect. Should I let this go? How will I ever get past this?"
People were quick to respond to his post, offering advice towards his predicament.
Most people agreed with him that they would not be comfortable using the name, with one commenting: "I would not be okay with my bf wanting to name our child his ex’s name.That is so not fair to you even if he passed away. She may need to see a therapist cause it sounds like she’s got some issues surrounding her ex."
Another posted: "There are many ways she can honour his memory privately. Having his name attached to your child is not one of them."