'My daughter doesn’t want to invite her school bully to her party - but I think she should!’

17 May 2023, 15:07

A child's birthday party has caused a debate online
A child's birthday party has caused a debate online. Picture: Alamy
Naomi Bartram

By Naomi Bartram

One woman has asked for advice after her four-year-old daughter said she wants to exclude one boy from her birthday party.

A mum has caused a debate after asking for advice about her daughter’s party invite list.

Taking to Reddit, the anonymous woman revealed that her four-year-old wants to exclude the school bully from her birthday party.

But wanting to teach her kids ‘kindness’, the mum can't decide whether to invite the boy anyway.

She explained the boy seemingly enjoys making fun of everyone in their class and has called her ‘mean names’ in the past.

A woman has asked for advice about her daughter's party
A woman has asked for advice about her daughter's party. Picture: Alamy

"It's her birthday in the holidays and she wants to have a party and invite everyone,” she said.

“This is big for her because she's always been a super shy and anxious child.

"We talked about how we should include everyone so no one gets upset and she thought that was a great idea. Except this one kid who apparently bullies her."

While she said she doesn’t want to ‘force’ her child to invite someone she doesn’t like, she added: “At the same time it feels cruel to invite the whole class except one kid," the mum added.

A Reddit user has asked for advice about her daughter
A Reddit user has asked for advice about her daughter. Picture: Alamy

"We did speak about how sometimes someone hasn't learnt to be nice yet and that although we do not have to put up with mean behaviour, it is good to show kindness to someone who is mean.

"She did agree to invite him but she then says she doesn't want him there and I don't want to push it on her and teach her that it's OK to let someone bully us."

Unsurprisingly, Reddit users have been quick to comment on the post, with many divided over the situation.

"If she doesn't want him, don't force her to. It could be a good lesson for him too. Actions have repercussions,” wrote someone.

A second person said: "Absolutely do not force her to invite someone that treats her poorly. This could set up a terrible expectation of obligations to those that treat us unkind.

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"Of course, the best way to handle it, is teaching your daughter how to handle it when/if it is brought up with the child.

"I would definitely contact the parents at some point and let them know about their child's behaviour and leave it to them to correct it."

Another user added: "I’d probably tell my daughter she can't invite everyone and she needs to pick X amount of people to keep it special. That way not one, sole person is being left out.

"It doesn't seem right to leave him out, but it also doesn't seem right to include him. Ugh. Not looking forward to dealing with these situations with my own small kids. Good luck!"

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