Jesy Nelson opens up about 'breaking point' at video shoot that led her to leave Little Mix
5 May 2021, 10:57 | Updated: 5 May 2021, 11:24
Jesy revealed that she reached 'breaking point' when filming the Sweet Melody music video in her first interview since leaving Little Mix.
Jesy Nelson has opened up about her decision to leave Little Mix in her first interview since departing from the band.
Speaking to Cosmopolitan magazine, she said that constant comparisons to her bandmates took a toll on her mental health.
She said: "I was bigger than the other three, and there's never really been that in a girl group I was classed as the obese, fat one."
Jesy heartbreakingly added: "I can't believe how miserable I was."
She revealed that her decision to quit came when she returned to work after lockdown to film the 'Sweet Melody' music video, after she suffered a panic attack on set.
"I immediately became a different person,” she said. "I had anxiety. Whenever we had a music video, I put an enormous amount of pressure on myself to try and lose weight."
Jesy described the moment as a 'breaking point', adding: "I’d been in lockdown, and I’d put on a bit of weight but I didn’t care. And they said, 'You’ve got a music video in a couple of weeks' and I just panicked. I went on this extreme diet, with bloody shakes, and tried to eat as little as possible. On the day of the 'Sweet Melody' video I had a panic attack on set because I didn’t look how I wanted to look and I found it so hard to just be happy and enjoy myself."
She added that she was "sobbing in the dressing room", and that "someone really close to me said, 'this has got to stop'."
Jesy continued: "For so long I worried about other people and letting people down. The only person I should have been trying to make happy was myself and I wasn’t doing that. I needed to do it for my mental health."
Jesy announced that she would be leaving the band in December last year.
She wrote on Instagram: "To all my Mixers, the past nine years in Little Mix has been the most incredible time of my life. We have achieved things I never thought possible. From winning our first Brit Award to our sold out shows at the O2.
"Making friends and fans all over the world I can't thank you all enough from the bottom of my heart for making me fee like the luckiest girl in the world. You have always been there to support and encourage me and I will never ever forget it.
"The truth is recently being in the band has really taken a toll on my mental health. I find the constant pressure of being in a girl group and living up to expectations very hard.
"There comes a time in life when we need to reinvest in taking care of ourselves rather than focusing on making other people happy, and I feel like now is the time to begin that process.
"So after much consideration and with a heavy heart, I'm announcing I'm leaving Little Mix.
"I need to spend some time with the people I love, doing things that make me happy.
"I'm ready to embark on a new chapter in my life - I'm not sure what it's going to look like right now, but I hope you'll still be there to support me.
"I want to say thank you to everyone involved in our journey. All the hard work and dedication that went into making us a success.
"To every single fan who came to see us in concert, who listened to our songs and sung their hearts out, sent me messages and supported me along the way I want you to know I love you all so much and I could never have done this without you and I appreciate it endlessly."
The star then went on to thank her fellow Little Mixers Perrie Edwards, Jade Thirlwall and Leigh-Anne Pinnock.
She added: "Most of all I want to say thank you to Jade, Perrie and Leigh-Anne for creating some of the most amazing memories I'll never forget. I hope that you'll continue to fulfil all of your dreams and keep on making music that people love. Love Jesy x."