Kate Ferdinand admits she 'cried every day for a year’ after moving in with husband Rio

9 February 2020, 18:38

Kate Ferdinand admitted she struggled when she first moved in with Rio.
Kate Ferdinand admitted she struggled when she first moved in with Rio. Picture: Instagram / BBC

The reality star confessed she would 'get into a total state' because she felt as though she was 'failing' at being a step-mother.

Kate Ferdinand has opened up about being part of a step-family, admitting she cried every day for a year when she first moved in with Rio and his kids.

The former TOWIE star, 28, confessed she got herself into a "total state" as she felt as though she was failing at being the "perfect woman" for the retired footballer, 41, and his three grieving children.

Lorenz, Tate and Tia lost their mother Rebecca to breast cancer in 2015, then welcomed their father's new girlfriend into their lives two years later in 2017.

Read more: Kate Ferdinand reveals painful moment Rio's kids told her 'you're not a mum' in heated row

Kate told You magazine: "I cried every single day for a year when I first moved in with Rio.

"It was an incredibly difficult time because his mum Janice passed away [of cancer in 2017] just two years after they had lost Rebecca.

"My heart was breaking for them. All I wanted to do was try to fix him, make the kids happy and be as kind and supportive as I could. I gave up my job. I wanted to do everything right. But I didn’t know how to cook."

Read more: Kate Wright shares emotional post about being a stepmum to Rio Ferdinand’s kids

She continued: "I kept getting things wrong, like forgetting to put a gym kit in a school bag or missing an email from one of the kids’ teachers.

"And I would get into a total state because I felt I was messing up in front of so many people who didn’t want me there. I wasn’t a mum. I wasn’t really used to being around kids, but I knew I would do anything for them.

"I lost myself. I felt as though I was acting all the time, trying to smile and learn to cook and be this perfect woman. I tried to talk to Rio but it sounded like I was moaning when he had much bigger problems to deal with. So I’d go to our bedroom and cry."

Read more: Rio Ferdinand feared he'd 'never be happy again' following tragic death of wife Rebecca Ellison

Rio and Kate Ferdinand have filmed a tell-all documentary detailing the difficulties their family has faced since the pair first got together.

The glamorous Essex beauty broke down in tears during the first look trailer for the programme, which will air on Monday night at 9pm on BBC One.

She sobbed: "I just want the children to be happy."

The film follows the duo in the run up to their glitzy Turkish wedding and gives fans a glimpse into the challenges they have to tackle together – and apart.

Read more: Kate Ferdinand delights fans with rare picture celebrating Christmas with husband Rio and his kids

Later in the film, Rio said: "There ain't no manual that tells you how to become a step-mum."

While Kate adds: "It's hard for us so I just can't imagine how hard it is for the kids."

Last month, Kate told her 1.1million Instagram followers about the upcoming show, writing: "This is a hugely important and personal project for @rioferdy5 and I. For the last year we have been filming a new @bbcone documentary ‘Rio and Kate: Becoming a Step Family’

"We have been on such a journey and we really hope the film will help other step families and those experiencing the journey of grief."

Rio and Kate: Becoming a Stepfamily airs on Monday 10th February at 9pm on BBC One.

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